Hehehe.

"My group of friends has developed a bad, childish habit of saying contradictory things in response to everything, for example the response to 'I just bought a new bag' could be any of the following: 'I'll bag you', 'I'll give you a bag', 'You're a bag' or really anything else that crosses our minds. So one time someone said 'come with me to the tuckshop' and I, completely without thinking, responded with 'I'll make you come!'"

"Today it happened again. With the same person. It went as follows: 'Come on. Hurry up.' 'I'll come on you!' * hysterical giggling and exclamations of 'Oh God! That's not what I meant!'"

"It happened again even worse yesterday.
Person 1: Come on, baby
Person 2: I'll come on your baby! * beat* Wait! (Squick) Oh God No!"

"A few years ago, a friend of mine was writing down some math notes. He got to a part about positives and negatives. When he had to write 'positive or negative', he shortened it to 'p or n'."

"When I was about 7 or 8, my whole family was in the car late at night, looking for someplace to eat. We got to discussing hybrid meals like brunch, and how there should be one for dinner and breakfast. Naturally, when I suggested 'dikfast', my mom was quite upset, while my brother was laughing his head off."

"Overheard between two children on a bus:
Child 1: For [some school project], who did you do?
Child 2: I did my mom! (thinks) No, I mean like—
Child 1: Uhm, yeah."

"This troper got into an argument with her brother that... degenerated after a while, to the point of flinging random insults. Her brother, who's rather Hot Blooded, was more concerned with getting a comeback in than actually coming up with a good one, resulting in this:
Me: I think you're an idiot.
Brother: WELL SO DO I!"