Youth.

I pulled up a random word generator, and that was the first result it gave me. Which is kind of funny because, while I sit here listening to my pretty soundtracks and trying to study Bio without getting distracted, I realise I haven't been thinking much about... well, my life in general, really.

Especially now that I've started Careers, the whole thing is just slapping me hard and cold in the face. Where am I going? What am I doing with myself? How will I take care of myself years from now, when I'm all alone?

That last one really stung. My parents will be gone one day some way or another; it's inevitable in this reality. And I think about some of my friends—some of you who read this—and how I've heard you rail against your parents and express endless frustration with them, just short of flat-out saying "I hate you". I think it's unreasonable to tell you otherwise, because obviously I'm not you and I don't know firsthand what you're going through or what they do to you, but... I guess it just makes me a bit sad hearing you say things like that. Kids should love their parents, and parents should love their kids no matter how stupid or infallibly smart or irresponsible or rebellious or whatever they are. It just makes me a bit sad how, in a world in such desperate need of some love, I see hate in what should be one of the strongest, most loving bonds of all.

And then I look at that last question again, and then at the word generator, and... I'm not quite sure what came next. I'm still young. I'm still in high school. I still have plenty of friends and nigh family to lean on; I'm not alone just yet. By the time I pack up for university (I hope) though... the chances aren't great. We're going to graduate. We're all going to go our separate ways for good.

Would we still be alone though? I mean, barring the possibility that some of us may go to the same university... but just how much of our high school years will we carry with us? When Samara and Avery and Tiffany and Amir disappear next year, you can damn well bet the rest of us in Vocal Fusion will still be behind them, supporting them one hundred percent, no matter where they end up. And it'll still be that way when this year's grade elevens graduate next year, and then... well, then it's us. And that would be nearly the end; Jacob and Eric would be the only ones left from our shining debut year.

I realise I'm going way off on a tangent here, but... by the time Jacob and Eric are the last remaining ones in Vocal Fusion, me and everyone else in my year would be seventeen or eighteen and heading out into the world. I myself would be eighteen by that point... and then nineteen... and then twenty... and before I know it I'll be twenty-five... then thirty... then forty... then fifty... Goddess, where did my life go?

I daresay it won't pass that quickly though. Freaking out over school and looking for a job and finding that one special person and spending time with them and finding a house and planning a wedding and preparing for kids and getting promoted and paying off student loans and mortgage and

Would I still be alone by then?

... No. Even without the marriage (although I hope at the very least I'll have a steady boyfriend by age thirty o-O), I'm still idealistic enough to hold out hope that, even though you'll all be off being amazing somewhere else... I hope you'll still love me enough to stand behind me, supporting me one hundred percent. And I hope I'll still love you enough to deserve it.

So maybe I'm a loony. Maybe I am just a corny, pacifying, naïve girl who'll get nowhere in life... or at least nowhere exciting. That's fine; as long as I'm happy, and I help other people achieve that same happiness—because I know everyone deserves it—then that's my goal accomplished.