xDDD

It's things like this that make me want to get a job. xDD

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(I am Filipino, but people often mistake me for Chinese due to my pale skin. Another Filipino co-worker comes in while I am working with a customer. We exchange greetings in Tagalog, a Filipino language with some Spanish influences.)

Customer: “Say that again. That thing you said to that other guy.”

Me: “Kumusta?”

Customer: “‘Cómo está’. That’s Spanish! What does a Chinese dude need to know Spanish for?”

Me: “Actually, I–”

Customer: “Say something else in Spanish!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t speak Spanish very well.”

Customer: “Come on! Say something!”

Me: “Vamanos?”

Customer: “Wow! Hey, do you speak Chinese?”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Customer: “Come on now! You must know some Chinese!”

Me: “Uh… I don’t know… ‘Ni hao’?”

Customer: “Now say something in Japanese!”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “Japanese!”

Me: “Arigato?”

Customer: “Now do Russian!”

Me: “Vodka?”

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Me: “Welcome to [Fast-Food Restaurant], how may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ll take a number 1, 5, and 12.”

Me: “Alright, that’ll be $12.09.”

Customer: “Woohoo!”

(The customer drives to the window.)

Me: “That’s $12.09.”

Customer: “Woohoo!”

*pause*

Me: “$12.09.”

Customer: “Woohoo!”

Me: “12.”

Customer: “Woo!”

Me: “09.”

Customer: “Hoo!”

Me: “12.09″

Customer: “Woohoo!”

Me: “…09.12″

Customer: “Hoowoo!”

Me: “90.21″

Customer: “Ooh-oow!”

Me: “Well played, sir.”

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(I’m shoe shopping, and I’ve taken off my own shoes to try on some other pairs. Another customer is browsing in the same aisle; she looks at my shoes and starts to try them on.)

Me: “Excuse me? Those are mine.”

Customer: “No, they’re not. I saw them first.”

Me: “No, I mean, I bought them a while ago. See, they don’t have price tags on them.”

(Ignoring me, she takes off my shoes, and calls over an employee.)

Customer: “Do you have these in size seven?”

Employee: “I’ve never seen these before. Do you have the box they were in?”

Me: “That’s because they’re mine. They’re not from here.”

Customer: *rolls eyes* “She keeps saying that, but I saw them first.”

Employee: “Uh, ma’am, she’s right. These are from [another shoe store].”

Customer: “Oh. Well, can I buy them here?”

Employee: *gives me back my shoes* “Sorry, no.”

Customer: “Well, if that’s how you treat your customers here, I’m leaving!”

(As she walks out, she stops to check out my bag on the floor.)

Me: “That’s mine, too.”